Standing as Equals
by whitechocobo
Summary: She had been there as he first stood on the battlefield as a soldier with a mighty goal and here she stood years later beside that same man whose dream was right within his grasp. Unbeknownst to him, she planned to remain with him even after everything.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note** : This will just be an outlet for my ShinKyoukai pairing which has kept me at the edge of my seat for the whole time I've been reading Kingdom. So far, all the small details are definitely pointing to a ShinKyoukai ending, if only one or the other doesn't die first (fingers crossed). They will be real ending of the KyouxOuki pairing that did not come true. I'm claiming it and calling it since they are perfect together.

 **Title** : Standing as Equals

 **Rating** : T (may change to M somewhere along the way but mostly T)

 **Summary** : She had been there as he first stood on the battlefield as a soldier with a mighty goal and here she stood years later beside that same man whose dream was right within his grasp. Unbeknownst to him, she planned to remain with him even after everything.

 **Disclaimer** : No. No. I have the highest opinion of the Kingdom manga and as much as I want Shin to end up with Kyoukai it seems I don't have to do much for it. Huehue.

* * *

 **PROLOGUE: The Present**

Kyou Kai silently cooed her horse with gentle strokes to his mane. She watched Shin in the corner of her eye, staring fixedly at the horizon on his mount. His stance was relaxed but his eyes were alert and alive. After countless fights together with this man, she knew what Shin was doing. He was already preparing himself mentally and physically – but he was also enjoying this last bit of peace before he would immerse himself in fighting once more.

The sun was setting and by tomorrow another war would begin. The soft rays of red, orange and yellow glinted against Ou Ki's glaive which rested on his thighs and against the hilt of Hyou's sword strapped to his back.

She wondered what he was thinking now that the last war had come upon them.

War against the super state of Chu.

After warring against all the other states, the only one that had yet to submit was Chu. Only Chu hindered the realization of King Ei Sei's dream of unifying China. It was against that Chu that Kyou kai and Shin would be fighting together as the main assault force.

"Just one more…" he mumbled but Kyou Kai's hearing was acute enough for her to catch it. She didn't comment, however – because she knew Shin would talk to her directly if he wanted her opinion.

So she just waited. He would talk to her soon enough. Surely enough moments later, he turned around and addressed her.

"Kyou Kai," He said her name the way he always did, with that distinct sense of familiarity.

"Can I ask a strange question?"

"Coming from you, strange is pretty normal." She responded lightly to alleviate the doubt he heard in his voice.

Shin snorted. "Geez, gim'me a break Kyou Kai." He gave a not so Shin-like half smile and she knew he was still in that pensive mood. She prompted him with a look to continue what he was saying.

"Have you ever… thought about what you're gonna do after we finish this war?"

She gazed back at him, questioningly. Seeking an explanation.

Shin scratched the back of his head and looked a bit embarrassed.

"Well, Bi Hei asked me the same question a few days back after we received the dispatchment order from Shouheikun." He turned his gaze away from her and stared once more at the setting sun.

"…and what did you answer him?"

This time Shin gave a short laugh. "I _wasn't_ able to answer him. I didn't know what to say." He responded simply.

"Y'see when I was with my best friend Hyou, I just didn't wanna keep being a slave for the rest of my life. When I lost Hyou and I met Sei, I wanted to become stronger to be able to protect what I couldn't. When Ou Ki died, I wanted to become a Great General of the Heavens like him. Further along the road I held the same goal as Sei and I wanted to become his sword that would cut down all of the enemies of Qin…" Shin's voice slowly trailed off and Kyou Kai waited for him to continue. She knew all of this from fighting with him all this time.

Shin had shared to her many a story throughout the years of their companionship in the same unit. As his sparring partner, Kyou Kai had witnessed Shin's exponential growth in fighting. As his Lieutenant, she had witnessed all his battles and she had seen him on the brink of death many times.

"Both of us are already part of the Six Generals of Qin. Now we're at the final stand, and we're so close to realizing the unification of all China. But if you ask me what I want after that – I don't really know."

Shin turned back to look at her. "So I was wonderin' if you had an answer."

She stared long and hard at her long-time comrade. In one swift movement, she tugged the reins of her horse, turned around and began trotting back to camp.

"O-oi!"

She stopped but didn't look back at him. "I do. But I'm not telling you. And we need to get back to camp, if the Generals are gone too long, the new soldiers might become uneasy."

"That's cheating! Can't ya at least give me a hint?" She could hear him following after her.

"No," she said resolutely and continued at the same pace. She heard him heave a heavy sigh behind her and hid the small smile gracing her lips.

She'd never tell him face to face but he would find out sooner or later. Especially since her plans after largely involved him – and one or two little children who looked uncannily like the both of them.

-oOo-

* * *

Endnote: As always, Shin and Kyou Kai make me happy. Tremendously so. :) I was grinning like a mad thing in the latest chapters ESPECIALLY when Shin picked up Kyou Kai from the ground on his horse. That was a total OTP moment and I was like asjdbhalfhbkdjbhabweiugh. Hahahaha. Anyway, hope you enjoyed a bit of er, not so fluffy fluff? You'll know if I actually pursue this plot bunny.


	2. Chapter 1 Similarity

**Author's Note** : Well, since there is a basically non-existent ShinxKyoukai fandom here in . I've taken up the challenge to help establish one with this story. Hopefully by writing this story I can help make people as happy and gleeful as I am about this pairing especially since I've reread Kingdom from the start thrice already – I'm convinced that the mangaka is slowly but surely heading for an ending with these two.

 **Title** : Standing as Equals

 **Rating** : T (mostly, may change to M somewhere along the way)

 **Summary** : She had been there as he first stood on the battlefield as a soldier with a mighty goal and here she stood years later beside that same man whose dream was right within his grasp. Unbeknownst to him, she planned to remain with him even after everything

 **Disclaimer** : Nope. No. Never. 'nuff said.

* * *

 **Chapter 1** **Similarity** **(The Wei Campaign)**

 _The Past_

Kyou Kai was not interested in any of this. Fighting, winning, camaraderie, friendship, teamwork, reward, glory – none of it had any meaning in the female assassin called Kyou Kai. She was not interested in any of it and wanted no part of it. The only thing that mattered was getting her revenge. She would participate in this war to that end. Nothing else was of great importance. She only did things that would help her achieve her goal faster.

At least, that was how it was supposed to be.

 **xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

She had purposely distanced herself from the slowly emerging groups all around her. She did not want to endeavor joining a group seeing as how they only saw her as a child; she settled with waiting until she would wind up in some other team that lacked members. She had found herself situated beside a noisy boy no older than herself lying on the ground and sulking at being left behind and not being chosen.

The people around them only saw the both of them as children – it was no surprise that they would be ignored. She tuned out the other boy's whining and eyed the people who had yet to form a group. The young boy's companions were replaced with seemingly better ones and in the end their five-man squad was simply that: an unreliable-looking squad leader, a rowdy boy, two scared beginner adults, and unknown to them – a lone assassin girl.

She wondered how long it would be before the other four were killed. She had no intention of dying, of course, but it seemed like a hassle to have to look for another squad to accept her later on.

She decided to keep them alive – at least until she was able to enter the land of Wei. Her true enemy lay on the other side of the battlefield. She would cut down men of both Wei and Qin if they dared get in her way.

In the tent provided for their Go, Kyou Kai had allayed any attempt to befriend her by her squadmates. She did not want to be involved with these men.

"I dislike talking. That is all."

She relayed her wishes quietly but clearly and the only one who was ruffled by this was of course, the crude boy. He kept complaining about her attitude and whatnot – but Kyou Kai thought his attitude was more deserving of it. She chose to filter out his words and pay attention to the things that mattered, like information for the upcoming battle..

As they finally joined up with the main body of the 4th army, Kyou Kai listened quietly to the Bi siblings' conversation from behind her.

"I was just wondering, what the scenery would be like when this many people started to kill each other." Kyou Kai made out the younger sibling's words amidst the consistent chatter around them.

Kyou Kai's fist clenched unconsciously. They were obviously new to the battlefield if they could speak innocent words like that. As for the other boy, the loud one – Kyou Kai could tell he was a first-timer as well. But the smell of blood that clung to the sheath of the boy's sword had not escaped her notice. In their Go, that boy was the only one who wasn't fazed by the prospect of facing death – which meant that he himself already knew how it felt to kill. His sword confirmed it, his eyes as well.

If he was good with a sword, she might not have to do much. He could be an asset, so to say. After all it was necessary for at least two experienced fighters to stabilize a Go.

* * *

Kyou Kai had watched from a distance as the messenger bearing a red flag sped through the side of the march calling for all squad leaders to assemble to him.

Red – a message of urgency.

Something must have happened at their destination.

It was with that conclusion that she listened to the grave words pouring forth from Taku's lips back as they were gathered together in a circle on the ground. "Gan Castle has fallen and General Kokugou has been killed."

She had been right. The next question was where would they head next to reclaim it?

But Taku had more to say.

"It's not just the general that was killed. Every single person in the castle was slaughtered. Even the women, children and elderly were not spared."

There was a dead beat of silence and she saw the change in her other companion's expressions. The Bi siblings looked overwhelmed and Kyou Kai didn't mistake that flash of apprehension in their eyes. The noisy boy reacted differently, however. She clearly saw how his eyes had hardened with anger and disgust at Taku's words.

She felt the same indignation, albeit much more subtly. She knew what senseless massacre was. To her it was something unforgivable and it seemed the noisy boy was of the same opinion as her.

"The one who took over Gan Castle is called General Go Kei, the previous chief retainer of Lord Shin Ryou Kun."

"Wait a second, wasn't Shin Ryou Kun one of the four Lords of the Warring States?" Bi Hei exclaimed.

"Since he was Shin Ryou Kun's retainer, he must be some sort of prodigy in warfare."

"There is no doubt that he is a genius."

"All that doesn't matter!" the young boy declared angrily. Everyone except Kyou Kai turned to look at him. "The one and only thing we need to do about that crazy bastard is to kill him."

Those were big words. Kyou Kai silently wondered if he had the skill and fighting prowess to back them up. Not bothering to take into account the enemy's experience – she wondered if he was not just a simple-minded idiot rather than someone capable of slaying a general.

"Since Gan has fallen, where are we headed to now?" questioned Bi Hei.

"We will be marching to Asui." Take replied.

It won't be that simple, she thought to herself. Kyou Kai tried to conjure in her mind a map of the terrain they were traversing. If she were part of the Wei Army, the best place to engage us Qin attackers would be 'there' without a doubt.

* * *

Who was this boy?

For once, Kyou Kai's thoughts mimicked those of the men around her as she stood on one side of the tent to which the servant boy had entered together with the newly arrived 1000-man commander.

She had watched together with everyone else as he had taken a step in front of the lead chariot and greeted the commander casually.

"Yo, Heki."

Not a proper polite greeting in the military. No use of honorifics even. There was a familiarity about the way he had said the older man's name. Like a friend would greet another after a long time.

Is that what they were? Friends? Kyou Kai observed the other men around her gossip about the crude noisy boy.

How could an ex-slave be acquainted with a 1000-man commander? Could he have been the Commander's servant before? But then, are master and servant capable of culminating a relationship apart from business?

As she pondered this, she suddenly remembered something.

 _Then again, it is possible to develop family ties with one who does not carry the same blood as you._

"Shou-nee." Her soft whisper was easily drowned out by her surroundings.

* * *

At the Dakan Plains, their squad had been assigned to the Commander named Baku Koshin. The boy didn't seem very affected at not being placed under his Commander acquaintance, unlike their other squadmates. When they had been placed at the very front of the infantry and as Bi Hei began to vomit she caught the sparkle in the noisy boy's eye.

Kyou Kai did not understand. There was tension in the way he held himself – but not the kind of tension everyone else around them had. Others were tense out of anxiety and fear, but this boy beside her held the tension from anticipation. As if he couldn't wait to join the fight.

Seconds slowly went by and Kyou Kai could feel the air around the infantry getting heavier.

"So that's what that odd but nice feeling was," the loud boy said out of the blue, with a tone of understanding.. "Standing here at the front, it's almost like I'm leading this huge ass army." He added with a pleased smile. Bi Hei, Bi Tou and Taku stared at him, dumbfounded whereas Kyou Kai kept her gaze on the enemy army. But she was still able to catch the way the young boy stared upward at the sky with a small smile, it was as if he was talking to someone.

Any moment now, she thought. They would charge at the enemy at their Commander's word.

"How can you – aren't you scared at all?!" Bi Hei asked, incredulous.

Shin glanced back at him briefly, "Scared? Well, sure. But I've always been waiting for this moment."

The signal had been given and the order as well, the suddenly everything that had been building up in everyone sudden broke loose.

Kyou Kai watched intently as that idiot had recklessly gone on ahead. Dashing forward and jumping into the enemy fray without a single hint of hesitation – it was time for the boy to prove his battle worth. A few minutes after he had skillfully maneuvered himself into enemy territory, a gap in the defense appeared as he cut down the shield bearers from the inside of their formation.

"A path has opened!" One of the men behind their squad bellowed desperately and the army surged to take advantage of the opening the boy had made.

Stealthily killing any in her way, Kyou Kai kept the other three men in her squad in sight. While she couldn't see the other youth in her squad she had a good idea of which direction he was in judging by the level of intensity of fighting. Her vague sense was soon verified when she saw him jump towards the lone wooden platform within the enemy infantry and kill the Captain riding it.

At least he wasn't useless.

Kyou Kai had been fighting conservatively all this while, using her blade only when an enemy had set his sights on her. And even then –she had only used minimal movement and effort in dispatching her attackers. Child's play, more or less.

Her instincts suddenly picked up when she felt a slight tremor in the ground.

There was a sudden heavier rumbling of the ground after the boy had slayed the Captain. It was something dangerous because the Wei soldiers had hastily evacuated. She immediately moved out of the vicinity as well, trying to understand what that sound was. She caught sight of a large dust cloud approaching them from the side. What was in that cloud was what was causing the loud noise.

She closed her eyes when she was a safe distance away and made out the smaller less distinct sounds.

Horse hooves. Wooden wheels turning. Crunching rocks. Something heavy but fast as well.

She opened her eyes and gazed at the approaching cloud of dust.

"War chariots." She concluded and watched as more than half of the infantry was annihilated by the rampage of the group of chariots. Other had attempted to fight back but were easily dispatched if not by the horses, than by the riders themselves.

This was not good. Sitting there and waiting for the next wave of chariots was waiting for slaughter. She moved to locate her Go and found them grouped together, panting and sweating.

"I have a plan." She announced from behind their futile formation when she was close enough, breaking her stealth. The other members of her squad gazed at her in surprise and wonder.

"You were alive after all?!"

"Where the hell have you been?"

"You say you've got a plan?" Shin voice was urgent and questioning. He was at a complete loss how to react in his situation.

So he wasn't much of a strategist, she noted as she silently stared at their surroundings. The sound of approaching chariots was growing louder once more.

"Oi!" the young boy's voice was agitated.

"They're coming!" The Bi sibling's muttered in fear.

"Kyou Kai-kun, just what is the plan you were talking about?" Taku finally asked in a tone of desperation.

"We'll make a rampart." She stated boldly.

"How the heck are we supposed to make one right now?"

"We'll pile up the corpses."

Taku called the other soldiers around them to help and soon enough everyone else was moving as well.

"We need to hurry, if we don't finish by the time to second wave comes, we're dead," she said matter-of-factly. The noisy boy cursed then began to help pick up dead men as well as scattered shields and spears. The second time the chariots charged them, they weren't able to get close and the only thing damaged were the corpses.

"The chariots have slowed down, now you can attack the enemy." She announced and the loud boy beside her gave her a look.

He nodded, acknowledging her point and pulled out the javelin from their dead comrade. The next chariot approached and Shin leapt, javelin in hand.

"Don't underestimate us, you Wei bastards!" He yelled out angrily and lauched the javelin straight at the rider's throat, making a clean piercing hit.

The chariot immediately toppled over and Kyou Kai watched from a distance as the young boy approached one of the horses. There wasn't much time, the group that split off was returning to finish the off. The men around her were already losing heart but Kyou Kai saw the fire in the young boy's eyes as he lectured them from atop his gained mount. She said nothing as he decided to charge at them head on.

He knew how to ride a horse, at the very least. He should be able to do something. Now the question is, was he actually aware of the best method of dealing with those chariots. He wasn't very intelligent, from her observations. She would have to give him advice directly.

She stood at the top of their rampart and spoke in a voice loud enough for him to hear. "You're overthinking things! Don't get too distracted! Remember that you're opponent is the chariot itself, not the riders!" She ducked skillfully as another chariot came towards their group.

She wasn't able to say more, but hopefully he would be able to understand - if not, he would just end up dying.

 _Don't waste that mount, it's a great advantage for your counter-attack._

She watched as he toppled another chariot and gave an approving nod. Good, he had enough battle sense to understand what she was trying to say. She held her ground at their rampart but kept an eye out for the enemy troops especially.

Overcoming the ordeal of the war chariots had taken its toll, however the next one presented itself immediately: they would break through the enemy's central formation and assault the summit of the hill to slay the general, Kyuu Gen.

"Not necessarily." Shin asserted when Bi Hei spoke about the impossibility of the task for the remaining infantry. Kyou Kai observed him.

She thought he had grasped what their situation meant, but he had said it only on instinct. As the other's bickered, Kyou Kai decided to reinforce Shin's assertion with more concrete details.

"It will be extremely difficult. The moment we stop moving, death will come for us."

"Ever since the chariots earlier, you've become a lot more talkative. I thought you disliked talking?" he pointed out and Kyou Kai turned away from him pointedly.

"I'm the same as you," she asserted, "I can't afford to die here."

She could feel his gaze on her, "...is that so?"

* * *

 **xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

Kyou Kai blamed that idiot.

He wasn't weak. But he definitely wasn't stronger than her by any means. All of them were weaklings who had no idea what it was they were getting themselves into. Most were conscripted soldiers who had never experienced a real battlefield. The advantage others who participated in the previous campaigns had over them was experience and a tiny bit more skill in survival. Others were just fresh meat to skilled veteran soldiers – useful only as a distraction.

That boy would be a bit harder to kill though.

Shin.

His name was Shin. Nothing else – it was simple and easy to remember. Just like the boy himself. The ex-slave was crude and brash, doing whatever he felt like and sharing his dream to anyone who would listen.

All he talked about was becoming a great general of the heavens.

Fool's talk with the skill Kyou Kai had seen him display in battle. His skill with the sword was better than most, she gave him that – but he was not strong enough to keep everyone alive by himself. Their lives were inconsequential to her goal.

At least – that was how it should have been.

When the enemies had pointed their spears at Bi Hei, her hand and sword had moved instinctively – in one swing she had sliced all of his attackers in half. Blood sprayed onto her clothes but she calmly gazed back at her squadmates who looked back at her, wide-eyed.

As she kept the rear of the squad and cut down all of their pursuers, she wondered why she was putting in such an effort to keep them alive. If they were inconsequential why couldn't she just let them die?

Kyou Kai gripped Ryokusui firmer and hacked away at her opponents.

Surprisingly, the ex-servant boy was the one holding the squad together. He would open up a path when there was none and with him in front and her at the rear, their group was well fortified with their more vulnerable companions in safer positions.

"Kyou Kai, I'll leave those three to you," said the loud boy when he was tasked to join the vanguard cavalry unit.

When he had looked at earlier on she could not mistake that heavy trust he placed on her. He was fully convinced that she could help the squad survive. She avoided his gaze and ignored him easily but she had understood what he was asking of her.

She could survive and surviving meant that the others could live as well.

 _If only the same could have been true with you, Shou-nee_ , she thought to herself. _If only my survival would have ensured yours_.

* * *

Watching their gaiety from the sidelines – if she had to name what she felt, she would have said that she was just a tiny bit relieved. She watched the Wei Army retreat and let out a soft breath. Amidst all of those soldiers, she wondered if the young boy her age had managed to achieve something in this fight.

"We're going home!"

When Duke Hyou had announced those words after the duel, rather than relief – Kyou Kai had felt disappointment with a bit of frustration. They would not be going deeper into Wei territory. She, on the other hand, had not achieved anything for her goal.

 _Sorry, Shou-nee._ Kyou Kai silently followed after the remnants of the 4th Army's infantry unit. _It'll take me a bit longer to get revenge for you_.

When they had returned to the capital of Sanyou, Kyou Kai had promptly left, uninterested in the rewarding ceremony. The other boy in her squad would likely receive some sort of reward for his efforts. Kyou Kai held no interest in any reward they would offer her. Her purpose for participating in the Wei campaign had not been fulfilled and she had not gotten any closer to finding her enemy.

So she turned her back and left without saying anything. She believed she would not come across anyone from that battlefield anytime soon. Her prey was not here in Qin.

* * *

 **xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

 _The Present_

The sound of metal against metal rang out in the small clearing. Each crash grew louder and faster as the minutes went by. Sweat dripped down Shin's face as he met Kyou Kai, blow for blow. He wielded Hyou's sword with practiced ease and great skill.

Kyou Kai struggled with the weight of his blows, but she was able to effectively divert his strength downward with Ryokusui. In a sudden flurry of movement, Shin had charged at her with great momentum after taking one of her blows. She responded by quickening her pace as well. He was keeping up with her speed very well. It didn't come as a surprise to her anymore – soon enough Shin had been able to thoroughly push Kyou Kai to her limits during their previous sparring sessions.

Once they had both been given a place in the Six Generals, they could only spar once in awhile in between battles, so it was rare for them to have time for a real fight like this where they could keep going as long as they wanted.

Their sparring sessions always cleared her mind and helped her think properly. Often whenever they sparred, Shin would always talk about a lot of things and Kyou Kai would just quietly listen. This time was different because Shin was eerily silent – Kyou Kai felt as if he was trying to relay to her all of his thoughts through his blows alone.

His anticipation.

His anxiety.

His hope.

Shin had always been a simple-minded idiot with a big heart. To Kyou Kai, those were two of his best qualities.

She had chosen to live her life to the fullest in the unit she considered her home. She had decided to become a great general of the heavens to see the same view as him. How far had his dream taken both of them?

In the final clash, Shin had used a fair bit of strength and had easily overpowered her. He forced her to drop her sword by skillfully hitting her hand with the hilt of his own sword. The sword clattered to the ground, signaling the end of their fight.

Shin's dark green eyes met her large green orbs. This time, it was his win. Their spars had evolved to a point where both of them now had an equal chance of losing.

"Are you feeling unwell?" he asked seriously as he sheathed his sword.

Kyou Kai bent down to pick up her sword, "I'm not the one acting unlike their usual self." She interjected as she sheathed Ryokusui.

Shin scratched the back of his head. "You're right. Sorry 'bout that. I was just thinking about some stuff."

Kyou Kai let out a breath. "You shouldn't concern yourself with things unnecessary to the upcoming battle. If you think too much you might hurt yourself," she said offhandedly and moved to walk past him.

"Hey, Kyou Kai." She could feel his gaze on her.

"What is it?"

"About Bi Hei's question from before. The one I talked to you about on the hill," he began.

Was _this_ what he had been thinking about during their spar?

"I'm not sure about a lot of things and you won't exactly tell me your plans – but I just realized that there is something I want."

She glanced back briefly and found him grinning at her.

"It would be nice if we could keep sparring like this all the time," he said simply. Kyou Kai felt her chest tighten at his words. When he began walking towards her, she watched him in silence. Standing in front of her, he spoke again.

"That's all I wanted to say. Let's head back to camp."

He placed a hand on her shoulder briefly before he walked past her.

"Don't be stupid," she said audibly and Shin gave her a surprised glance – as if he had not expected her to comment.

"If you want to keep sparring with me, all you have to do is ask. I'm not going anywhere."

She wanted him to understand her intentions. Shin stared at her for half a minute then suddenly laughed.

"Okay. I'll do just that." He agreed easily and turned around again, "Thanks, Kyou Kai." He added quietly.

Kyou Kai gave an inward sigh and tried to calm the quickened pace of her pulse. She wasn't sure if he had fully understood what her words had implied. It was unfair of him to drop something like that while she was off-guard.

 _This is frustratingly oblivious man_

Her wish was simple – but telling him was actually the hardest part. She let out another silent sigh and followed after his figure.

* * *

 **Endnote** : In my head I picture Kyou Kai slowly improving her opinion of Shin as she watches more of his fights. So I start off with her only referring to my Baby Shin as 'boy', 'loud boy', 'noisy boy'. Not quite 'Shin' because he isn't starting to be an important figure in her life yet. YET, I repeat, We'll get there soon. Anyway, thanks for reading! Hope you liked the chapter enough to drop a review. 3

PS: I just LOVE the role Shin plays in Kyou Kai's life and I appreciated the wording in one of her character descriptions online 'Fiercely loyal to Shin'. That I can definitely understand why – it's why I'm writing this fic in the first place.

Disclaimer: Snippets of a lot of the descriptions came from the scanlations of Turnip Farmers. I can't translate Japanese to save my life. All credit goes to their diligent and wonderful scanlators.


	3. Chapter 2 Reason

**Author's Note:** So yeah, stress from work gets me going to finish each chapter to keep myself awake. Hurrah for the working class.

 **Title:** Standing as Equals

 **Summary:** She had been there as he first stood on the battlefield as a soldier with a mighty goal and here she stood years later beside that same man whose dream was right within his grasp. Unbeknownst to him, she planned to remain with him even after everything.

 **Disclaimer:** If I did, Kingdom wouldn't be as awesome as it is. Again, descriptions are pretty much based of the scanlations of Turnip Farmers. All the credit goes to their faithful and diligent scanlators. I can't translate Japanese to save my life.

* * *

 **Chapter 02 Reason**

 _The Past: The Assassination Attempt on King Ei Sei_

Her next means to reach her target involved a single man.

Just a name uttered by the man who had commissioned her for an assassination.

 _Ei Sei_

It was a name not unfamiliar to Kyou Kai. In fact, it was a name most people who were of Qin knew.

The name of the recently returned Prince of Qin – he that is to ascend to the throne and become the proper ruler of Qin once he is of age.

Kyou Kai knew the basics of the basics when it came to the man. But she knew one other thing most people didn't know.

It was the fact that he and _that boy_ were good friends.

She had chanced upon the information when she had been sifting through rumors for intel on her target. It had been a habit since she had begun her quest and she knew just how precious information was in times like this. She had caught rumors of the quelled rebellion of a person named Sei Kyou which involved a young boy who she had only recently found out was actually the loud boy from her squad.

Kyou Kai had hesitated a bit because of this piece of knowledge. She knew without a doubt that the crude boy would be there if she pursued the young king – he was that sort of person. One who would give his all for a cause he believed in. He was the righteous kind as well, one who seemed the type who would never abandon his men or friends. Passionate, rowdy and reckless – but an undoubtedly loyal friend and comrade. She wondered what the young king of Qin thought of him.

She contemplated and ultimately decided that she would at least grant him a warning of what was to happen. She would not yield in light of the opportunity to go where she needed to go. Even if the young king was _his_ friend.

If it came to the two of them fighting, Kyou Kai knew she would not lose. The boy may have grown – but he was not strong enough to defeat her. If she had to cut him down as well, then so be it.

It was with that resolve that she purposely ignored the small tight ball that had formed in her chest.

* * *

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She stood on the grassy dirt road and watched their approach. It was the loud boy – and he seemed to be accompanied by some strangely dressed child.

When the boy had taken notice of her presence, he perked up immediately whereas the child had gazed at her with curiosity.

"Kyou Kai!" He called out her name, she remained unresponsive until they had gotten in proximity.

"Well, if it ain't Kyou Kai!" The boy greeted her exuberantly with a welcoming smile.

She stood before them and bore the warning on her shoulders.

"Do 'ya live around here now?" the boy inquired good-naturedly.

 _If only he knew what was in store for the him_ , she thought to herself as she gave a response to his earlier greeting.

"That armor doesn't suit you," she said bluntly. His tattered slave garments and the new armor clashed horribly on him.

As he was nursing his wounded pride, Kyou Kai decided to address her singular agenda.

"It's as I thought," she said audibly for him to hear, "Your place is on the battlefield. Your sword is one best used in the light. Fight where you should be fighting – don't fight in places where the sun cannot reach you."

The confusion was clearly etched on his face at her words. She gave a silent sigh and decided to just tell him directly. She was a fool for trying to communicate with him in a roundabout way. The boy was too simple for that.

So she delivered her intentions clearly. She took a step and did a slow about face as she began to walk away from them.

"As a token of goodwill, since we fought together previously – I only wish to convey one thing," She said quietly. There was a heated pause as both pair of eyes gazed at her in rapt attention.

"You absolutely must not involve yourself any further with the Royal Palace."

"Wait just a minute! Just what do 'ya mean by that statement?" Shin asked gravely. Kyou Kai paused, but decidedly did not turn back.

"If you decide to do otherwise, you will definitely…" her voice trailed off.

 _Lose your life_. _To my blade, if not to the others._

She presumed her meaning was clear enough without finishing what she was saying. She continued walking without another word. She had done what she set out to do. She had warned the boy. She did what she could do to prevent it – she'll let him decide how he wanted to respond to her words.

And she would see what Fate had planned for both of them.

* * *

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Clan Gouma. Clan Kensen. Clan Kakuriki. Clan Shukyou

All of them were competitors for the young Qin king's head. By no means were they _working together_. It was not the same as that time during the Wei campaign. Having the same goal and fighting on the same team did not mean you were comrades or anything of that sort. If anything, in their line of work everyone else who knew about your existence was considered an enemy or liability that needed to be killed.

When she had caught sight of the strange child from behind the Kakuriki clan, she decided to step in. This child did not pose a threat on his own after all – and if he died, the loud boy would obviously be deeply affected.

 _So they were here_. She thought. Just as she had predicted they would be. Inwardly, she gave a resigned sigh. The warning had served its purpose – to alert him of what would happen; but ultimately, it had not prevented their encounter as she had hoped it would.

She gazed at the small form – but rather than seeing relief in the child's eyes, she found the child glaring at her with understanding and fear. The child was smart enough at least, to know she was not an ally. She had been able to share that piece of information with the loud boy because she was part of the assassination herself.

"What do you want, brat?" One of the Kakuriki assassins asked her distastefully.

Kyou Kai gave an inward sigh. "I've met that child before," she pointed at him then flipped over her hand and opened her palm in the assassins' direction, "so hand him over to me."

All of them glared at her words. "It matters not of it is Gouma or Shukyo… we were planning on eliminating all competition from the start. Looks like we'll be starting with you."

Kyou Kai closed her eyes, feeling slightly irritated.

 _Arrogant fools._ _The whole lot of them_.

Not wanting to hear any more of their useless boasting, Kyou Kai dispatched them with minimal effort.

After cutting all of them down, she gazed unfeelingly at the small trembling form on the ground leaning against the brick wall. She could feel someone drawing closer to their location and immediately made herself scarce.

As she was walking away, her thoughts began to swim and drown her. She could have saved time if she had just let the child die and had pursued her target. What was she doing? What were you doing Kyou Kai? Kyou Kai – deserter of the Kyou Tribe? Kyou Kai – sister to Kyou Shou, a victim of the ritual? Were you not here for revenge?

 _Don't falter._ _Don't hesitate._

Kyou Kai closed her eyes and remembered the feeling of embracing Shou-nee's cold lifeless head against her chest in anguish. The iron scent of blood overwhelming her sense of smell. The dismembered corpses surrounding her in that red-dyed clearing. The place where the person dearest to her had been cut down without mercy. The place where she had been left behind and the place where _she_ left behind everything.

 _Don't forget._

Kyou Kai hardened her heart and her resolve. She wasn't here to make friends. She would cut down the boy named Shin if he dared to stand before her with a sword.

Again, the steel ball settled in the pit of her stomach.

 _Shou-nee_.

Kyou Kai's fists were clenched tightly enough to draw blood from her palm. She felt her nails pierce her flesh and the slight creeping feeling of pain in her hand slowly emptied her mind. She already knew what she needed to do.

* * *

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She observed him as he cut down the Shukyo assassin that charged at him with one swing. The young girl behind them screamed as the body splattered against the wall behind the loud boy. She took note of the strength of his blows and the speed of his swings and reactions. She would need them when they would clash swords.

His gaze was clear and focused, as if he had just understood something.

"At this point, I have no use for you guys anymore." His meaning was clear, _'there is nothing left I can learn from fighting you._ '

She took a decisive step forward in a manner of challenge. If she could no longer avoid the inevitable – she might as well get it over with as soon as possible. She felt a slight tremor in her heart as she took that single step forward, but pointedly ignored it.

The boy's gaze was hard and determined. He was clearly stating that he was not backing down.

"Be careful, Shin!" the child she had rescued warned the boy. It was unnecessary, seeing as how the loud boy was already keenly and carefully watching every single one of her movements.

She drew closer to him, paying close attention to his movements as well. She paused a few steps in front of him.

"Kyou Kai," he said her name audibly.

"I've got a lot'ta things I wanna ask you. Don't screw around and answer me seriously."

Kyou Kai remained unruffled by the graveness of his tone. She would answer what she chose to answer. He had no power over her willingness to oblige.

"Your true identity is an assassin?"

"That is correct." There was no point in lying or keeping it secret. It was not as if I would make a difference at this point if she admitted to it.

The loud boy clenched his fist automatically. Kyou Kai could tell he was agitated as he asked the next question.

"Are 'ya here to kill Sei – I mean, did ya come here to kill the King of Qin?" He rephrased his words, not wanting any misunderstanding on this point especially.

"That's right." She answered without delay. She could not deny his head was her goal and lying about it to his face would be a worse scenario.

"Are ya doing it for money?" His eyes were searching her green orbs for answers.

"…no." She was doing it for a reward, alright – but never something as petty and simple as mere money.

"Is it because you wanna serve that Ryo guy?"

He wanted a _reason_. A reason that could help him understand why she was participating in such a thing as assassination.

"No." Ryo Fui was an infamous name, but it held no meaning to her. Both he and the Qin king were just another means to an end.

"Then why the hell?!" he asked, raising his voice. Confusion and anger were raw in that question. But she chose not to answer him this time.

He wanted a reason – but it was one she would not readily give.

"It does not concern you." No one would _ever_ be able to understand her feelings or her resolve. She was not in a charitable mood today and she felt irritated.

The boy was silent at her dismissal of his inquiry.

"Is that sufficient?" she asked bluntly.

The boy glared at her.

"Yeah. That's enough, Kyou Kai." He said in an emotionless voice. "Get out'ta my sight right now. Since we used to fight together, I'm willing to turn a blind eye and let 'ya walk away from this." He said seriously, but earnestly.

Kyou Kai took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I understand. I'll leave right away…" she took a step forward to move past him.

"With the king's head, that is." She added and felt the anger roll off him in waves.

He drew his blade and so did she. The inevitable had come.

She too, was looking for a reason. The reason why her life was one of endless strife and battle.

Kyou Kai just wanted to end all of it soon. In a world where Shou-nee no longer existed – she did not see a reason to keep on living anymore.

* * *

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 _The Present: The Night Before Parting_

Kyou Kai was seated on one of the larger rocks, eyeing Shin who was lying comfortably on the ground in the corner of her eye. She held a cup full of alcohol whereas Shin was keeping jars of booze within reach.

His breathing was even and despite his outrageous sleeping habits, he was sleeping quite well.

All of their men, both from Shin's army and from her own were getting noisy and having fun back at camp. The faint sounds of merriment still registered in her hearing from where she was. She let out a quiet breath. At least they would have their share of laughs before the battle really began.

Kyou Kai had been directed to the nearby forest when she had inquired of Shin's whereabouts from his men. Everyone had already been piss drunk by then and had only managed to guide her with gestures and grunts from the ground.

When she had found Shin, he had been drinking on his own.

"Why aren't you with the others?" she had asked upon her arrival.

Shin had turned and gave her a barely there smile. "I wanted to have a little toast with Hyou." He said quietly. It was only then that she had noticed the flask of wine, standing untouched, in front of him.

 _Hyou_.

Of course he would think of his deceased best friend at a time like this. Moments before she had been talking to Shou-nee in her mind as well. Silently, Kyou Kai made her way to sit across from Shin. She placed a bottle of liquor in between them, right next to the flask Shin had placed. Shin gazed at her quizzically.

"I'm offering up a toast to Shou-nee as well."

Shin let out a small chuckle at this.

"Might as well, drink together then. After all, by tomorrow, we won't be able to talk like this for a while. Different battle fronts an' all." Shin took a swig of the different flask of beer he had.

Kyou Kai watched him down the whole thing in one drink. She eyed him warily – unsure just how much liquor he had consumed. She knew Shin had high tolerance for alcohol but much to her misfortune, Kyou Kai had been there to witness and handle the few instances where he had been inebriated.

As she was pondering over this, Shin had begun to stare at her in a strangely intense manner. Kyou Kai tilted her head slightly, relaying a silent question.

"Kyou Kai, will 'ya let me borrow Ryokusui for a sec?" He asked out of the blue.

Kyou Kai paused. "For you to remember my sword's name correctly is a surprise." She pointed out.

Shin snorted. "How long do you think we've been fighting together?"

Kyou Kai pulled Ryokusui out of its sheath, rotated it, and held out its handle to him. "Here."

He wasn't the type to ask without a reason, after all. A warrior's sword was something that could not be held by just anyone. But the fact that he asked for her permission and had made sure to remember the weapon's name correctly, indicated that it was a request he had prepared for.

Shin raised both hands to receive it from her. He, too, was well aware how big a favor he was asking from her.

He smiled soon after. "It's a bit lighter compared to mine – but a good sword nonetheless." He commented as his eyes moved from the hilt to the very tip of her sword.

Shin closed his eyes and said nothing more. After a minute or so, his hazel eyes were in view again and he returned Rokusui with care.

"Here. Thanks."

Kyou Kai offered him another silent question with her gaze.

Shin scratched his cheek with his index finger. "I was giving it some instructions." Kyou Kai heard the hint of embarrassment in his voice.

"…what?" Kyou Kai was a little dumbfounded at his answer.

Shin avoided her gaze and looked at the forest beyond her, in the direction of the Capital of Chu.

"It's all I can do right now."

"What do you mean?"

"When the battle starts for real, I won't be able to rush to help you if something goes wrong. Ten made that clear during the strategy meeting earlier. Both of us are on our own during this important battle. So this is the only thing I can do to put my mind at ease."

Shin met her eyes this time. His gaze was clear and unwavering as always.

"I have complete trust in your capabilities as a warrior and as a leader; we've fought together _far too long_ for me not to be assured of that. I was placing the same trust in the sword that would be with you, instructing it to make sure you survive."

Kyou Kai gave him a hard stare.

"I'm the one who should be more worried," Kyou Kai interjected. Kyou Kai let out a soft breath.

"Shin."

"Yeah?"

"Don't die in a place where I can't fight to keep you alive." She said seriously. That was the one thing that she dreaded when it came to him – that Shin would die the same way Shou-nee had died. She did not want to experience that helplessness ever again. The helplessness of not being able to do anything to keep someone important to her alive.

"I don't have any intention of dying anytime soon," He joked and gave a very Shin-like laugh.

"Swear it, Shin." She insisted and Shin met her serious gaze with one of slight confusion.

"Then I'll swear if you swear the same oath to me as well." He replied easily. Kyou Kai knew that he likely didn't understand why she was so adamant, but he was willing to acquiesce, nonetheless.

"Alright. We'll both swear on it."Kyou Kai agreed as well.

"Swear on it with what?" Shin asked, pausing for a moment to think. "Booze?" he suggested and Kyou Kai shook her head.

Shin waited for her own suggestion.

Kyou Kai bit her lip before speaking. "With our futures."

The future she was keeping so close to her heart – if he was not in it then a _future_ was useless.

There was a palpable pause. "…Understood." Shin said in a quiet voice. "We'll seal it with a cup of special sake then. I only brought one cup though. You okay with sharing?"

She felt the blush creep up her neck but she nodded still. She would not let her feelings deter her.

Shin poured the sake in one cup and drank from one side then he offered her the cup. She took it with both hands and drank from the other side of the cup.

"Let's do our best to stay alive, yeah?" Shin said with a smile.

"Of course." She answered.

* * *

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 _The Past_

Again and again he stood up from each of her blows.

 _Why?_

 _Why do you hinder me so?_

 _For what reason?_

Every time Ryokusui made contact with his flesh, the fire in his eyes never diminished in the least. Kyou Kai's sword arm felt as heavy as the tightly coiled ball in her stomach as she parried all of his blows and made wounds bloom on his battered body. Red dripped onto the marble flooring, staining it red. The sight unnerved her.

"What's the matter? I'm still in one piece." He taunted after a particularly nasty blow to his side.

 _Enough._

She finally gave voice to her thoughts and relaxed her stance slightly.

"Why must you be this stubborn?" she asked with a hint of exasperation. The tight ball uncoiled slightly inside her.

"This is not a war zone. There are no generals for you to defeat to gain fame and acknowledgement. The only thing I see here is a powerless young king and the assassins targeting him. Did I not make it clear yesterday? This is not your battlefield. There is no reason for you to be here." She slashed her sword to the right and felt the blood touch the floor.

His blood.

She observed him huffing, trying to steady his breath and ignore the pain from his wounds. "You're right, in a way. But I happen to be personally acquainted with this young powerless king behind me."

Their gazes connected – green clashed against hazel, "I know." It was one fact that plagued her to no end. "You are the same servant boy who protected the king in the last rebellion." The rebellion which had been hushed but had not escaped the network of information she had traversed in.

She continued, "But what of it? Saving his life will not make you a general. Why risk your life to this degree for something which will not benefit you in the long run?" she asked seriously and the boy stared back at her quietly.

"Is it out of loyalty?" she ventured a guess.

"Hah? Loyalty?" the boy's raucous laughter echoed in the large room. The others seemed stunned by the boy's declaration. "Are you an idiot? Why would I have something like that?" he asked, incredulous.

"…then why?" she posed him the same question he had asked her before their skirmish, albeit more out of irritation than anger.

The loud boy was not to type to evade the question as she had done and had easily responded to her query.

"It's just because he's my comrade. Someone I've bled and sweat together while fighting side by side." His response was simple.

Shou-nee's warm smile flashed in her mind for a moment.

She would have done the same thing on the day of the ritual – she would have done everything so that Shou-nee could live. In this boy standing before her, she saw herself – and she saw the Shou-nee that had chosen to let Kyou Kai live through by any means even if it meant her death.

Kyou Kai paused. "I don't understand." She said more to herself than to the crude boy.

"Don't lie." The boy said quietly. His breath was still heavy but it was getting more stable compared to before.

"You helped Bi Hei out that time when he tripped on the battlefield." His voice was clear and it did not waver in the least. "Apart from that, when we were climbing that hill, I only heard this from Bi Hei and the other guys, but I heard that you took the rear and protected everyone."

"Facing down an enemy for the sake of protecting your comrade – that's exactly what I'm doing right now. The same as what you did on that battlefield during the Wei Campaign. It's one and the same." He spoke confidently and Kyou Kai listened carefully, trying to digest his words.

Kyou Kai blinked once. If it was no different, then – Kyou Kai decided that she would fight for her comrade as well.

 _Shou-nee_.

The comrade who had not allowed Kyou Kai the chance to fight to keep her safe. Kyou Kai raised Ryokusui and brought it down to Shin's head. The boy raised his sword to parry. The clang of metal against metal echoed in the enclosed room.

"It's seems that I have no choice but to kill you if I am to obtain the King's head." She stated with finally, pulling her resolve together. The coiled ball inside her started to ache painfully.

* * *

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She had assumed correctly about his character.

Her memory was hazy but she could vaguely remember hearing the boy's distinct voice while she was partially conscious.

"Shut up!" The loud boy's voice was distinct and impossible to mistake even in a slightly awakened state. "Sei said to help him out, didn't he!?" he argued.

"Which is why we spared his life!" a slightly familiar voice argued back. "We still need to keep him in prison for interrogation!" the voice asserted.

"No way in hell." The boy said determinedly. "He was fightin' for our sake until he passed out. I'm gonna watch over him 'til he wakes up."

A girl's voice resounded softly, but Kyou Kai could not make out the words, not even Shin's response to them.

There was a terrified squeal that soon followed after the boy talked. The previous older and more mature voice said something again and Shin immediately responded.

"He ain't Shiyuu!" He declared boldly. "Kyou Kai is a soldier of the Qin Army! He's my fellow squad comrade!"

She wasn't able to make out the rest of their conversation anymore as she was dragged back into unconsciousness by her fatigued body. But she heard – and she remembered his words.

Later into the night Kyou Kai woke up and felt the ache of her wounds, the slightly weakened state of her body. The lone candle lit up the whole room but outside the castle window was a world of darkness, a world she was accustomed to treading. She glanced to the bed beside hers and found the loud boy in a fitful sleep.

She freed herself from her bindings and stood up, positioning herself on one side of his bed. She found him breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Was it poison from the assassins' weapons? Or his body's way of compensating and recovering for what he had put it through?

She pressed her hand against his moist forehead and felt the prickling heat of his fever against her skin. His body wouldn't be able to recover properly like this, she surmised.

Kyou Kai closed her eyes and channeled her _chi_ into her hand, focusing it at the very center of her palm. She gave a small chant quietly under her breath and felt her _chi_ diffuse from the center to her fingertips to his forehead. She also made sure to steady his own _chi_ flow to better facilitate his recovery.

When his breathing calmed, Kyou Kai pulled her hand away and felt the warmth slowly disappear from her hand.

She took one last look at his peaceful resting face.

"Thank you, Shin." She said in a soft grateful tone.

She used his name for the first time. She owed him that much at least, with what he had conveyed to her during their fight. She felt like she had understood Shou-nee's reason just a bit better. Why Shou-nee she had chosen to do what she did.

Outside, the world was dark. But in this room with this boy there was light and warmth – just like the times when Shou-nee had been alive with her. How she wished she could have appreciated those moments more.

* * *

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 _The Future_ : _One Bed_

"We did this once before, do you remember Shin?" Kyou Kai asked quietly, glancing at him through the corner of her eye. Shin was lying on his back beside her, staring at the ceiling in deep thought.

"Refresh my memory?"

"It was the night after Ten had left to train to become a strategist. I appeared in front of your house to pass on her message to you. You invited, or rather coerced me into having a cup of tea so we could talk. You offered me some the food Ten cooked for you." She easily supplied.

"Was that sometime after you tried to kill Sei?" he murmured, closing his eyes briefly.

"Yes. Yes, it was." Kyou Kai agreed. Images and pieces of memory were floating in her mind as she gazed at him in the corner of her eye.

"Ah. Then it was _that time_." He said as he glanced at her, recognition in his eyes.

"Do you remember now?" she asked.

"Not everything as you described; it's been way too long. But there was something important enough for me to remember from that time."

"Which is?"

Shin shifted his gaze back to the ceiling. "That was the first time you took off your bandana in front of me. The first time I thought, 'Wow. She really is a girl.' Come to think of it I was nervous back then, too." Shin followed the last comment with a laugh.

"…too?" Kyou Kai pointed out and Shin stiffened slightly. "Are you nervous now, Shin?" She turned her head to face his direction. Soft green met rattled hazel.

"I am," he admitted reluctantly.

"Making one of the six great generals of Qin _anxious_ – without a weapon even. I'll add that to my list of achievements." Kyou Kai teased and Shin snorted.

"I wouldn't say you're technically _without a weapon_ in this sort of situation." Shin responded pointedly, with a slight accusatory tone. She didn't understand what he was referring to, in this case.

Kyou Kai discreetly twirled the metal band on her ring finger – the same band Shin was now also wearing on his own hand.

"Are you implying that you were _pressured_ into this?" she asked purposely.

"Hell no!" Shin denied immediately, inadvertently sitting up to look at her directly. He covered his face with both palms of his hands, feeling slightly embarrassed; he let out an audible sigh.

"I _chose_ to do this of my own free will." He said in a steadfast tone. Kyou Kai sat up as well and looked at him directly. She gently pried off his hands from his face and made him look at her.

"Good. I made the same decision." She replied. They stared at each other in silence, Kyou Kai holding his hands in her own. Warmth spread from the place where their skin was in contact. Kyou Kai slowly interlaced the fingers of her right hand with those of his left hand.

"This will suffice. Let's go to sleep, Shin." She lied back down on the bed and pulled him down with her, resuming their previous positions – except this time they were facing each other with their joined hands between them.

"Good night." She whispered softly, closing her eyes.

Shin yawned before smiling as well, "Good night, Kyou Kai. I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Endnote: The implications of sharing a sake cup between a man and a woman is MARRIAGE. AHAHAHAHA. Must've slipped their mind (not mine though). Huehue. Been through a lot the past months, got sucked into the Haikyuu fandom and haven't fully disentangled myself at the moment – just enough that I could finalize this chapter which has been waiting since October. Drop a review to share your thoughts. I'll be waiting. I don't really have a beta so you may want to point out some grammatical errors, as I tend to overlook them because of the length of my chapters. Ha ha!


End file.
